Pusseh

That one word over there keeps haunting me. It's that bitch that kept telling me I'm a yellow-belly, chicken-shit AKA 'PUSSY'. Yup. And even if I started of well a few months ago, filled with OPTIMISM AND SUCH, I quickly got put back into place. Well, it's time to say NO again and actually try to get somewhere in this Monopoly game we call life. And there's only one way of winning a Monopoly game: Money. Yes, that thing we invented, that thing that matters way too much to so many people. Well, money is a tool. A tool to get you things. 'The best things in life you can't buy with money'. It's uhm... somewhat true. ANYWAY, I've been fucked and I see myself in the need of a change of scenery: getting another rent, possibly with my parents even, but with different rules. Trying to eliminate the things that made me move out in the first place. A rule to getting back into a relationship after it failed the first time (love, friendship, work, etc) is to make sure that something has changed. I have to set some goals. motivate my lazy ass.

What motivated me to write is that I found a post on someone's blog that made me feel like I'm not that alone with my stupid rational thinking. Ignorance is bliss... it's so lovely to be stupid and not care. I've never actually achieved that state. You know, when you don't care about tomorrow and you enjoy the day? Nope, it's that one thought in the back of your mind that screws everything up. The demon. My demon is money. It's a hate-love thing. They say you want in life what you wanted the most in your childhood. Oprhans seek families and so on.

Maybe I should get some sleep or I could rant for hours.