Men are stupid. Women are evil.

Nice title. It's all true. And don't think I have something against women. It's not your fault we men are assholes. Actually, it is... let me show you.

A while ago I was researching on rapists. The top FBI rapist profiles [here it is]. The men there raped because of trauma caused by a woman. Most of the time, their mother (like Freud said) and past relationships. It's just that women are built to mess us up. We can't control it. When it comes to ANYTHING ELSE, we can be more rational. Because men are more cold-hearted, I mean, I haven't seen many economic guru women for example. More male lawyers, more male politicians. You get the point. But when it comes to women, we are screwed. Oh fuck, that cute girl just smiled at me... And some of us are already picturing her naked. Some of us are imagining having kids and a dog and living together forever. Doesn't matter what exactly you are thinking, the point is, you're not really thinking about anything else. Hmmm, eat or buy my girlfriend a gift? If I do, maybe I'll get something. Well, I could use a diet anyway! It is so true.

Women sending mixed signals are the worst. They drive us mad. Does she like me? I mean, if I knew. Damn. I'll just follow her ass around until I find out. And you, yes you, women, don't even know what you do to us.

Beer commercials have boobs. Hell, everything has boobs. Why? Men are stupid. They don't think about the details. Let me give you an example. Me and a friend(girl) were handing out flyers at a car show. She gave out five times what I gave. I asked her and she simply explained: "Well, a girl smiles and the man sees her. In his head he thinks that if he takes the flyer, the girl will see him and he's one step closer to being with her." Yes. It's stupid. That's how our brains work. Useless.

The gays are the lucky ones. I think politicians are just jealous that they were born straight and gay people have no problem with women. And that's why gays have less right. Heck, sometimes even I envy them. Asexual sounds like bliss. Hormones. Instincts.

Girls, be happy you were born with a hole and not a hose. That hole is your golden ticket if you play it right. I bet misses Obama takes the important decisions...